Someone once told me that you cannot have the feeling of happiness and sadness at the same time, but yes, it is quite possible. I am overwhelmingly happy-although my happiness is not exactly something I can run around yelling at the top of my lungs just yet..and then in the same breath, sadness. Heavy,lonesome, sadness. Sadness at closing one door, and opening others. Sadness at the loss of my "perfect" family, Sadness of feeling as though I never existed in this world in western Omaha I so greatly desired to create and love.
I moved here..to see about a boy. And then I wanted so badly to create this world I never had. This life that any "normal" person would want-but I walked away. I now live with a co worker, and got an offer to live with my gay friend :) And I have never been more optimistic about my future in my life.
Suburbia Omaha, sea of turf grass, same vacations every year, same everything, well, I simply freaked out at the thought of that, and now plan trips to Paris, Opera's in Chicago, and dinners with my wonderful gay friends...
It is MY world, and I love it, despite the current sadness, I can't help but to be euphorically happy.
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